Black/White launch week awards *SPOILERS*

Confession time: I've been playing White for the last several days. I went with it over Black for now because quite frankly, it showed up first. And apparently I'm not alone, since about 3.6 million people have bought the game in Japan already by "press" time.

Right now, I just finished the 6th badge and am rocking a full party, though I could use a Flyer. I'll list them after the break since there's spoilers involved. But right now, I think I'm far enough along to hand out some preliminary awards

Best Mea Culpa:
Me.

What can I say, the spanish dude got it right. Props to him... I still cannot fathom how he got the leaks of the Pokemon, but he did. Serebii Joe needs to chill, though - surely you have a site to run, there's no reason to spend several hours a day posting on GameFAQs, of all places.

Best incident of self-inflicted gunshot wound:
To Nintendo of America for sending DMCA takedown notices to PokeBeach and Serebii. News flash guys, this is 2010. Stuff leaks. Not even Apple is immune to leaks, and they decapitate the leakers when they catch them and hang their heads from 1 Infinite Loop as a warning to others.

Both sites got nailed for posting pre-release stuff from 2ch, not sprites as is to be believed, but using the DMCA as a club instead of tightening your own security or starting a Smash Dojo-equivalent site to get ahead of the leakers is a pretty cheap shot. And why does the UK allow this to happen to Joe? I almost wish I had the kind of free time to run my own news site/podcast, if only because I could mock them for trying to run a takedown on a site that's not in US jurisdiction.
(Last warning: Everything after the jump could be considered a spoiler.)

Honorable mention for "Best Incident of Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound": GameFreak for another Fire/Fighting starter, while at the same time buffing the other two. I have to use it to be sure, but come on...

Best Proof That The RNG Likes To Mock Me:
The game features a set of elemental monkeys that match the starter types (Grass, Fire, Water). You get 1 near the first badge city (the one your starter would beat, to use against the 1st gym which would beat your starter) and the other two are found in a PokeRadar-like system in the game's first forest. (Walking around grass areas causes one square to shake, and if you walk to it you generate a rare/exclusive encounter. Emonga is caught this way, along with the monkeys and the game's Metal Slime equivalent, Tabunne.)

Since I picked Smugleaf for my starter, I got the Water monkey and had to catch the Fire and Grass ones in the forest. I KOed the first one I encountered when trying to weaken it. After that, it took about six hours over a three day period before I got the Fire monkey again and was able to catch it. In the intervening time I  got 15 Tabunne, 8 of the Grass monkey, the evolved form of White's exclusive Grass type, 6 of the Water monkey, and TWO shiny Fushide.

And if that's not bad enough, the evolved form of the Fire monkey looks like it's doing a pose made famous by Reggie Fils-Amie or Bob Charlie in Super Punch-Out. Seriously.

Best Moment of House Building By The Excretion Of Bricks:
When the Dream World abilities were leaked. Three abilities known to get a Pokemon banhammered from competitive tournaments (Drought, Drizzle and Shadow Tag) going to the Vulpix family, Politoed, and a Ghost/Fire type with base 145 Special Attack that didn't need much help?

Full list is available here. Other winners: Speed Boost Blaziken, Cloud Nine for Lickililly, Technician for Breloom, and Overconfidence for Feraligatr and Salamence.

Best Argument For Catching Your Pokemon As Low Leveled As Possible:
As promised, I'm using Meguroko for my Ground type. It comes from about L15-L18, so I figured I'd grab the L17 one that has Overconfidence. Problem: At L16 it learns Assurance and scrolls the usable Bite away, with a Move Maniac three gyms down the road. Trying to level something up with Sand Tomb and Assurance should only be attempted by a trained professional.

Best Wild Pokemon Keeping Pokemon Centers In Business:
Darumakka. I'm pretty sure I had to run to the healing house on the route where you find it about 20 times while trying to grind the aforementioned Meguroko - and it wasn't the only thing croaking. Hustle + Fire Fang + base 80 attack = OW OW OW. That Mono-Fire run looks so much better now.

Best Excuse To Quote YuGiOh Abridged While Playing Pokemon:
Zeburaika.
"And some kind of... zebra-unicorn thing. Whatever it is, I'll see it in my nightmares."

Best Reason To Love Compoundeyes (Black/White edition):
Denchura, launcher of 91% accurate Thunders. Butterfree's Sleep Powder is for catching, while Denchura straight up kills stuff.

Best Counter To Calm Mind Suicune If This Was R/S:
Shibishirasu and its evolutions. It's a Levitating Electric-type - so no weak, much like the legendary gerbil of days of yore.

Best New Evolution Method:
Evolving Chobomaki and Kaburumo requires you to trade them... for each other, during which the latter apparently steals the former's helmet. Wicked.

Best Move Nobody Can Use Yet For A Damn Good Reason:
V-Generate. 180 power Fire, 95% accuracy. Even though it lowers 3 stats including Speed, it's coming from Victini (most likely) so what's going to survive to take advantage? Especially with a White Herb. Nobody learns it yet, so look out for Gray's Move Tutors.

Best Catcher So Far:
Surprisingly, Miruhoggu. It learns a Sleep move (Hypnosis), Super Fang and Crunch by the time it's L22. Crunch, Fang, sleep, chuck. Who knows, maybe you'll trigger the random "One Click Catch" I did when catching the first Fushide.

Best Concussion Induced In Pursuit Of A Badge:
The 6th gym is a Flying-type gym that takes place in an airport hangar. To get to the leader at the top of the gym, you have to shoot yourself out of cannons to get to higher ledges. Now, I've played Secret of Mana so I appreciate the joys of cannon travel, but not when it launches you headfirst into a wall.

Best Interface Feature They Removed For Some Stupid Reason:
L = A in the Options. This game begs for one hand + stylus controls, yet they removed the option for it. For shame.

Best Music So Far:
The Bicycle and Plasma Battle songs.

My current party: Jarooda (final form Smugleaf), Gamageroge (Water/Ground), Nageki (Fighting type, Hariyama expy), Meguroko evolution, Denchura and Victini all at about L37.